The bigger picture

While reading Malcolm Gladwell’s Tipping Point, I couldn’t help but think about what in my life could have been part of an epidemic or something close to it. The only thing that comes to mind is pregnancy in threes. In the article Gladwell speaks of epidemics having to be contagious, small but effective and happen abruptly, not gradually over time. The “baby bug” is definitely an easy thing to catch around pregnant women.

When I got pregnant, two of my friends were expecting as well. Although this was something I was always told about, it was never something I believed. Until a couple weeks after one of our friends delivered and I got a call from another friend informing me she was pregnant. It has been a continuous cycle of three pregnant friends ever since then.

I enjoyed Gladwell’s illustration of how the little things in life, may cause drastic changes. I couldn’t help but wonder what made him look in depth at the big picture to have even noticed the impact of the little things. And now I find myself asking, what have I missed by not looking? For instance, I would have never considered the impact snow could have on a puppy. Reading his story about his puppy, reminded me of mine. I remember my puppy, only five weeks old, reacting in the same manner in which he speaks. The only difference being that he saw how the little things could cause a bigger action. My eyes are now open and I will be paying more attention to the little things.

The Key to Success...

Acceptance, is a word that can be defined as the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered; favorable reception; approval; favor. It is a word used often in society. One must be accepted before attending college, science club or even the military. Meaning, until the organization agrees that basic requirements are met, you are not getting in. This now puts you at a standstill. Learning this concept changed my life.

Growing up, I was a very curious individual, especially when it came to adults. I couldn’t figure out why they were always so stressed out. How can you stress about everyday life? Something was always a worry. What should I cook? What time will the family be home? Did I pay that bill? What college should I attend? Will I ever fall in love? I couldn’t believe being an adult had so many everyday choices, that could stress an individual out.

As I grew into an adult, I realized that people worried way too much. Stress should never reach the point in which, having to seek medical treatment, is an option. The only thing that anyone can control in this world, is their own actions. No matter what advice or suggestions given to an individual, it is their choice to act in a certain manner. Once an individual finds acceptance in this, life moves a lot smoother. I use to stress out about: being late to work, forgetting to pay a bill, what my sons were doing while I am out the house. One evening, I came home with the worst migraine. My fiancé looked at me and asked what was wrong? I began to explain myself. Well, I was late to work because of traffic, I only got half a lunch break, apparently I forgot to pay my phone bill, and now I have a migraine. “So, why are you so stressed?” he replied.

Although clearly, he was being a wise guy, I couldn’t help but think about it. It wasn’t my fault there was an accident on the highway causing a traffic jam. But even if it was my fault, it had already happened, so what could I do about it now? I know not paying a phone bill can result in late charges, but if I forgot, I forgot! Not having a full lunch break sucked! I made plans to run to the bank, before catching a bite to eat on my lunch break. Didn’t look like that was happening! I ended up stuffing my face as fast as I could because I spent the first half, of my already shortened lunch, not accepting the things I couldn't change. By the time I got off, it was too late, the bank had already closed. Once again, there was nothing that I could do, it was out of my control. So, why was I stressing so bad?  I see now, that it was because I wasn’t accepting things that happen, for what they were.

There is no point, in stressing over something that you cannot change. No amount of stress will give you the results you want. Once you accept that some things are out of your control, life gets less tense. Who cares what is for dinner? Accept the fact, that dinner might not be appealing for everyone. If you show up to work late on a busy day, accept it for what it is, and keep it moving. Stressing, about not having enough time to finish tasks at work, isn’t going to give you that time back. So, why worry? If your fiancé cheats on you, stressing, won’t change the fact that you just got cheated on. Accept what just happened so that you can move pass it and continue life. 

Acceptance, is key to living a less stressful life. I use to be a very hostile, confrontational individual until I grew into acceptance of society. I use to believe everyone had “common sense” and manners. I realized, after continuous confrontations, everyone had different point of views on topics. Why fight over it? It just doesn’t make sense to waste the little time we have left on earth. Not accepting things for their worth, does nothing, but complicate life. Try to worry less about the little things and enjoy life. If you can’t change it, don’t stress it. Everything will work itself out. And with that being said, I leave you with this quote, “Of course there is no formula for success except, perhaps, an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings.” ~Arthur Rubinstein

 

40 Weeks of Pregnancy

Throughout time, women from around the world talk about how joyous pregnancy is. I have to agree, as a mother of two, it is indescribably amazing. There is nothing like bringing life into this world! Like most things in life, there are a few cons people refuse to mention about pregnancy.  I can't grasp the concept as to why they don't inform you of such traumatizing events.
After 22 years of life, in May of 2010, I discovered that I was pregnant. Now this came as a surprise! I must have taken six pregnancy tests. My whole life I had been told that I would never be able to bare children, due to medical issues. Here I was, getting ready to exit the military, from the worst duty station ever, West Point, N.Y. Although in shock, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with this "joy"they speak of. His father was ecstatic! He must've called everyone he knew that evening. We definitely had that beautiful kodak moment everybody thinks of. What they don't speak of was short to come.
The one thing they do mention is little to no sleep once the baby arrives. I would've preferred to hear them say you get less and less sleep starting half way through second trimester. Have you ever had acid reflex? That would have been nice to know about, considering it was a daily event in my second and third trimester.  I bet you haven't heard any women talk about the mucus plug. How disgusting would that sound? Well, curiosity made me touch this rubbery mucus exiting my body. I like to tell women this is the weirdest part of pregnancy.
I know every pregnancy differs but if there is a possibility that I might experience something weird, I would want to know about it. For instance, the most traumatizing was my water breaking with my first child. We get to the hospital and the nurse puts me in a room and ask if my water has broken yet. I inform her it has not but I know this is true labor. She puts her gloves on and proceeds to check if I am dilated any. As soon as the nurse inserts her fingers, my water breaks, it went every where! It was like a toddlers pool had just popped and flooded over the gurney. I thought it would never stop. The most disgusting experience of all in my book about pregnancy. By the way, it stops after you deliver the afterbirth. After experiencing this twice, I still don't understand why women aren't sharing these disgusting truths about pregnancy.

An Identity of a Writer...

Wordy- Since before I can remember, I have never been able to explain my point of view. I always get wrapped around my words, which makes it hard for others to follow. I once spent 30 minutes trying to express my feelings to an individual about my family. Because I had so many angles I could take this topic, I could never choose which path to take. I started off talking about my childhood family. Midway through the conversation, I realized, I should have started with the mother, I am today. Because I didn't, I found  myself lost between my train of thought and the conversation. I was all over the place. The worst part is I never knew when to be quiet and let it go.

Receptive- Another good word to describe myself is receptive. I found out through life, that you must grow to accept everything for what it is. Living life open-minded is a great way to gain knowledge through others. Being receptive helps to build my character.

Aggressive- Aggressive, one word that I am not so proud to hear describe me at this age. I allow my emotions to get the best of me when I am passionate about something. I always try to stay level headed but once my emotions come into play, I lose my train of thought.

Realist- I like to think of myself as a realist. If it cant be proven wrong, then it must be right. There are certain things in life that can't be argued. If a shirt is grey, you wouldn't call it black and white mixed.


Trying to come up with four words to describe ones writing style is easier said then done. I haven't written enough papers or blogs to truly define my style. The four words I have chosen is a start to understanding myself better as a writer. Although being inappropriate is a bad thing, I believe it will help me set boundaries. Being wordy will impact my work in a major way. I need to be able to portray images on paper, without babbling. Babbling can confuse your audience or even worse, lose their attention. If I want to be a successful writer, I must set realistic goals. Being a realist will push me towards more non-fiction novels. I love writing about true life events. Writing about something I can relate to makes it easier. The imagination is a powerful thing, but so are we human beings.